Shine! Advice

“Sometimes it can be really hard to get teenagers to open up, then when they do you may not know what to talk about. The normal, “how are you?” and “how is life going?” may not get you much of a response. Here are just a few questions that could help you start a great conversation:

  • What are you looking forward to this [season/month/week]?
  • Do you have any New Year resolutions?
  • What would you change about the world?
  • What could our family/youth group do the make the world better?

You don’t have to ask them all at once–you might spread them out throughout the week! If this isn’t something you normally do, it may seem awkward at first and they’ll probably think it’s weird that you’re asking them these questions. Do it anyway. Be consistent (but not overbearing) in your effort to know them better. Over time, it will become normal for you to ask them questions and it might just become normal for them to answer you with a fully formed sentence.

Here’s some conversation tips:

  • Listen. Don’t lecture.
  • Don’t react. Practice self control. Even if the answer isn’t the one that you expect or want, be thankful they are sharing with you. Take time away from the conversation before responding.
  • Be with the people you are with. Put the phone away, turn off your notifications.
  • Your conversation is YOUR conversation. Don’t post about it on social media, or over share with your friends.
  • Pray. Pray. Pray. You never know which conversation will make a lasting impact. Pray consistently that God will use you to influence the girls He has placed in your life.

We’ll be sharing more of these as time goes on. We hope they’re helpful in starting meaningful conversation with a teen that you love!”

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